No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
