Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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