Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
