terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So much Jack, so little girl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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