just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
