I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
where are you?
Hypothermia
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
