He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
