sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dicks are not precious.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
