doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
