THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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