Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
