It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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