words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
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