I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
