Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
