i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
