are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
