if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
