I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
