if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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