It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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