I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
