Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
