these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
