He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
