I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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