If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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