All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
