During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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