Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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