is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
