how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
