Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
