he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
