So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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