Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
