I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
