Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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