So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
