I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
