We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
