How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
