I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
