I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
