he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
