All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
