That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
