so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
