god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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