So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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