why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
