I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
