Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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