i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
