i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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